the science love story

credits: the jokes in this post are from a facebook group called "I love corny science jokes"
Once upon a time, there was a small piece of ice which lived in a test tube and fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice.
The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through, idiot."

But that's not the science love story I want to tell you about.

Ok, somewhere on this planet. There was a scientist called La Luna U, who was a gorgeous girl. Next to her house lived a handsome young man called Derek Dan, who was also a scientist.

One day La Luna U just suddenly turned stupid and asked Derek:
While walking into a lab, how does one know which kind of lab is it?

Derek calmly answered:
-If it's green and wabbles - it's a biology lab.
- If it's stink - it's a chemistry lab
- And if it doesn't work - it's a physics lab...

And then suddenly, La Luna U was so enchanted by Derek's that they went to Las Vegas, cooked a meal, went swimming, planted some trees, killed a snail and then got married.

BUT that is still NOT the love story I want to tell you.

Let me see. Hmm.

A chemist, a biologist, and a mathematician observe the number of people walking in and out of a hotel one morning.

At twelve o'clock A.M. two people walk in, and at one o'clock three people come out.

The biologist says, "They must have reproduced!"
The chemist says, "The building has an unstable charge."
And the mathematician says, "If one more person walks in, the building will be empty!"

Wait, this has nothing to do with the love story I want to tell you about.

oh, anyway, did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control!

Near the house of that biologist, there was a bar.

One day, a small furry animal walked into that bar and ordered a drink. The bartender looked at him and said "Sorry, the occupancy is 6.03x10^23. We cannot serve a mole."

After a while, a neutron walked in and ordered a cocktail. But when she asked the bartender how much she owned, he answered: "For You, NO charge!"

Nearby, two gases were talking to each other and they saw another gas walk by. . .
gas 1: "man that is the IDEAL gas"
gas 2: "eww you pvnrt!"

Suddenly, an underaged Pb walked into the bar and the bartender turned to the gold bouncer and said," Au, get the lead out!"

Pb shouted "DON't YOU DARE COME NEAR ME! Because I have Potassium, Nickel and Iron"
The gold bouncer asked: "A K.Ni.Fe? Oh my goodness I'm SO SCARED"
And everyone in the bar turned into kangaroos and jumped away.

and I don't know why.

hmm.

anyway, two atoms were walking down the street nearby.
Said one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other said, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

oh wait, i need to digress from my love story to remind you this:
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!" by i-don't-know-who-said-it

ok. back to my love story again.

There was a student who loved his teacher a lot. One day, this happened in the class:
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
The teacher choked on his mustache and died on the spot. And the students barium.

wait, that's still not the love story I want to tell you. grr.

Ok. Professor A loves professor B.
they do science.

The end.

moral of the science love story: Josh Groban sings really well.