[1st day of Promos]

my plan on thursday:
Go back and revise for four hours for GP. Then sleep at eleven.

What I actually did:
Slept at 7pm. Slept till 10.30 pm. Chatted tell 0.00 am 28 sep. Then sleep again.


At 1.12 am, I was so freaking stressed, I furiously messaged 10 people, asking:

"Have you slept yet?"

I was hoping if someone decided to stay up until 2am, they would help calling me up my calling my phone.
I could not set my alarm clock cos that would wake my roomate up.
The only thing that could wake me up is the vibration of my phone.
I desperately waited for an answer.

but NONE came.
I was very sure some of them were still awake.

I think I have been shunned by everyone.


As a result, I slept till 6 am, IN MY UNIFORM of the PREVIOUS SCHOOLDAY.
I was too stressed to change.

And I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to prepare for GP.




I was so freaking stressed when rehearsing the stupid anthem backstage.
The stress was tremendous when the vice-principal said "This is the end of absembly, pls rise"



BUT.


STRANGLY ENOUGH, I was totally calm during GP papers.
As I did not study AT ALL, i chose question 5 "Hard work alone is sufficient to accomplish success in life." Do you agree?
It does not require much knowlege on education, environment, politics or economics. GP THEMES.
I finished the essay (phew), and funnily enough. I think my essay is damn sexy, cos I mentioned Josh Groban as one of my examples.

JOSH GROBAN has a irresistable voice.

My essay was quite dominated by examples of musicians: Elvis Presley, Paravicini, Josh Groban.
I brought in Leonardo da Vinci and Thomas Edison too.

I think I FAILED my essay though.

My comprehension is quite bad.
I only manage to write 1.5 pages for AQ.

I think I FAILED my comprehension.

BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE:
I finished both papers though I did not study a single thing for GP.
I was calm during both papers.

And I thank God for that.
Cos for the first time in a very long time, IN MY TREMENDOUS STRESS after hearing "This is the end of assembly, pls rise", I hurriedly uttered a prayer when I was heading towards the sports complex.
YES, I PRAYED. Though I don't consider myself a christian anymore.

And somehow, i think God answered that.
Though I am quite sure that I have failed GP, God kept me calm during the whole process. I did not feel to cry. I did not want to find some knife and slash my wrist. I did not want to give up doing the paper until the very end.WOW. I think God planted some stregth in me.

After the essay paper, when I went out to wait for the next paper.

And I realised something.
I don't really have a friend to talk to, to say things like "How did you do? What question did you choose?", to laugh, or to freak out, to comfort each other, to "YAY!" with each other.
That suddenly striked me.
That reminded me of the 10 messages from me that received no answer.

Maybe it is obvious that I should not trust in anyone anymore.
I feel so helpless in this.
Have I done anything that wrong? to deserve to be friendless?

I don't know. I'm too exhausted when the realization that I have no friend struck me.


Well. Charlotte noticed, asking me "Hey Don. Are you OK? You look so forlorn!"
Well, as usual, I lied "Yah. I'm OK."

For the promo thing, I wanted to thank the seniors who messaged and encouraged j1 choristers, J. for encouraging, Jiing Jiunn for offering to help me with photosynthesis, Bren and Marcus to keep me company on MSN last night, Helsa and Charlotte, and surprise, Nicholas.

Haha. He suggested me to just go to sleep, dream about a hot girl, and wake up feeling damn refreshed and say "Promos. Here I come."

Well, I'm really not the type who would do THAT. But it cheered me up somehow.

And I thank God.
Though I don't think I want to be a Christian again.