[back to slacking]

i hope i can get a ticket to "back to basics" of christina.
yah fat hope.

---

On friday night. I put my phone in the pants. Then I put my pants in the laundry bag. Then I put my laundry into the washing machine, followed by detergent and softener. I pushed the start button. The washing machine began to spin. My clothes were soaked wet with detergent and stuff.

And so was my PHONE.

The shorter version of what happened: I accidentally put my phone into the washing machine and now it's dead.

When I remembered about the phone, i was horrified. But when i took it out, i was so amused because it was vibrating NON-Stop with the screen light flickering.

Well, a normal, healthy, dry phone cannot do THAT.

I'm so proud of my phone.

However, as i saved all my contacts on the phone, now i lost track of EVERYONE.

Oh dear God,

Folks, i won't be contactable for a while.

---

Term exam is finally over.

But this is a very different feelings.

In the past, noD always know that he passed all the papers and may get As for his maths and sciences.
But this time, noD knows for sure that he has failed EVERYTHING with a slight, petite, small, wee chance that he would have passed biology.

For a student who has never failed a major exam for nearly 12 years, i think i should be really mad with myself, should feel really guilty about myself, should be terrified, dazed, stunned, ...

but I'm NOT.

So many things have happened since the release of my O level results. So many things that have crushed my feelings until the point that I've become quite callous to failures and minor pains now. It's so strange that all the dark past suddenly comes back so vividly to me THIS year, drowning me in fatigue and depression.

However, at this point in time, i can safely say that i'm so much calmer and more relaxed.

You know, when the pain doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. Someone told me that, which followed by a "yah rite" from me; but now, i think it's kinda true.

Maybe it's the music that has helped my to become more stable. I don't know. But i think it plays a big part too.

OK. I think after this big major failure. I need to shake myself out of this i-dont-care attitude and get some perspective about studying. I know this education system is so didactic and boring, but i know too that i have no choice but to LIVE with it for another 1.5 year, i might as well put in my best effort for it. Plus, i'm not used to letting people down, teachers included.

'A' level is a killer programme. IB is indeed the programme for the future.
Howver, both have its own pros and cons, i just have to put in my best for the course i'm in.
I wish i had been in acjc the first 3 months. That would have been great cos i wouldn't have to go through the pain of being kicked out of school, having everone looking at me as if i were some pitiful failure - "oh poor {nod}, what happened to him?", having to study 6 subjects at a less demanding - in terms of content, farewell those great teachers and friends i had there. And it means I would have been in the acjc choir for the first 3 months, how cool that would be!

Just some nostalgic moments, it's no good looking back and wish for things to happen differently. What's done is done!

---

Speaking of choir. it has been one good thing that keeps me going on for months.
I can't pinpoint exactly the reason why. But i feel that it does.
Is it the music? friends? seniors? teachers? motivators? guests? performance?
I think it was because of everything.
I do learn a lot.

Today i'm back to choir. What a wonderful experience. For all my friends who had to go back to school during the holidays for rehearsals, this might be just another rehearsal. But for me, who has not attended for quite some time, it is quite amazing.

Morning ensemble's majulah singapura, acs anthem a capella version. Check.
A new warmup exercise that is really effective for diaphragm. Simple but effective. Check.
Alumni Choir's songs, with mr tenor divaD selrahC. Check.
mr muS's here there and everywhere. Check.
en experience with mrs hoeT's conducting. Check.
and the most amazing of them all:

A MERMAID's SONG by Juha Holma.

I heard this song in acjc choir concert last year, when i was not part of the choir. It was a totally arousing song, appealing to all my senses. I was dazed by its beauty when i heard it. Juha Holma is quite a genius. I wonder how he visualize musically how this song was gonna be. He has painted the whole mystical underwater world.

JUST by MUSIC.

And what is more cool: i'm part of "a mermaid's song" today.

It's a simple song in terms of melody. I could get it quite fast. The range for tenor 1 is totally manageable for me.
but to achieve the effects that i heard during the performance last year, as well as bringing out the spirit of the song; i have a lot to learn and to work on. One word for me: PRACTICE.

The sliding part of the song somehow reminds me of the girls' songs for AEWF 07, and the crazy lovable fish DORY in Finding Nemo. Other parts brings back the memories of the Sinbad cartoon. However, it in no way reminds me of "The little mermaid". Haha. The little mermaid is not the kind of mermaid in this song.

I'm so elated to be able to sing this song. YES. I AM.

---

I've written quite a lot today. I should shush now.

---

the sea and the ship

only the ship knows
how vast the sea is
and only the sea knows
where the ships wander

the long days they don't meet
the sea's hair turns grey
with the foams of waves
the long days they don't meet
the ship's heart aches 'till it cracks

farewell the ship
the sea is only left with storms

bidding farewell
my fragile heart will be torn by storms