Praying

There's something wrong with my Dad nowadays.

He's moodier. Very quick to get angry. He can go from happy to angry in a second, or maybe half of that. He has strange reasoning, it's like he can't think logically. He is suddenly super worried about his high blood pressure, a condition he has been living with for years.

Two days ago, I had to use a knife to cut my wrist (only shallow, not too deep, I still love my life) in front of my parents to stop dad from arguing with mom. And yes, my scheme was successful. And yes, there are still scars on my wrist. And no, I did not die. I don't want to pull this act again. Never ever. I hope so.

And just now, at 10 pm. Dad decided to brew garlic juice. Yah, that's right, garlic juice!!! Because he read on some Vietnamese website that it will lower high blood pressure. WTF right? I know! After 5 mins of brewing, the smell of his 'potion' filled the whole house and I vomited. Mom could not sleep either. I took my sleeping bag and went to my car to sleep there for a while, which I couldn't, cos there was no way to breath in the car, and I couldn't roll down the windows cos it was trickling down rain. And with my car leather seat, I didn't want them to get wet.

Everything is fine now. Cos the smell is gone and my parents all went to sleep.

I'm tired. But I hope my Dad will get out of his mid-life crisis soon. I don't know my feelings for my Dad but I do care about him and most of all, I really care about my Mom and I don't want him to make her sad.

Praying.