just a flashback

To everyone who has been talking to me via the tagboard, I'm SO SORRY that I haven't been replying you. I'm SO SORRY. I'll reply soon.


I suddenly have a flashback on my acjc days. Nothing much. But it hurts me. And I don't know why!


The thing is, everyday, in the NUS high school residence. I would woke up at five fifty, or six. I would take a REALLY long time to shower, and brush my teeth, and then wrap my body in something and then change into my acjc uniform. And then I would put on my contact lenses. And then I would grab one of the three bags (retro black, faux leather, or black zinc - depending on my mood) that I had put all the books/files in the day before. Then I would put on my socks, which I would usually struggle to find a pair that would match.

And then I would say bye to my roomate. Which I really cannot remember what I usually said anymore. Was it "bye nat!", or "hey, bye!", or "i'm going first, bye!", or simply leave and lock the room if my roomate had already left.

Then I would go out to wait for the elevator. Three things may happen:
1. It opens and I go down to the ground floor.
2. It opens, I meet ...., I feel really awkward, and answer everything .... asks until I reach the ground floor. I'm really sorry, .... It should not be this way, it was all my fault.
3. The lift is so SO slow. And I ran down the stairs.


If I was early, I would eat at the canteen. Or I would skip breakfast and the run to the bus.

Once I reach the bus, I would fight my way in, and FIGHT to get upstair, sit at somewhere near the front, where losers such as me usually sit. Cool people usually sit at the back, I was afraid I would stain their cool air.

And I Had to tolerate lousy music from other people's phone the whole time.

And I would text "Good morning, PJ" to PJ.

Once the bus stop, I would ran to school, cos I was always late. I would run through path next to the contruction site of the performing arts building, the one that I had dreamed of seeing it completed.

along the hallway, I would try to avoid as many people I know as possible until I reach the choir seats.


And I would sing with my choir mates, the only thing that I really loved doing during the day.


But that is to painful to reflect on, so I'll fast forward.

I would be in lessons, I hate chem, I love bio, I loathe econs, I don't really like maths but I try because the teacher is extremely understanding, I like GP cos the teacher is so funny but I hate the content most of the time. I don't really care about PE but it's SO FUN. I don't like PW cos the teacher is evil.

When recess comes, I would either sleep in the library, eat alone in the canteen during mother tongue, or with my classmates when it's not mother tongue.

and then,...

I love the milo stall I love the chick and pig stall.

I love how the porridge tastes so good when I was having gastric.




And I love that sometimes, people noticed that I existed.






Anyway, I just suddenly remembered what usually happened during a normal school day. And I feel painful. It reminded how much of a loser and loner I am.

But I really miss those moments. Cos that just proves that I am me.





right now, I really miss and cherish the short year I had in acjc.



Life is sarcastic. I hated school, until I'm out of it.





It's so painful to think back about last year. I hated it, but I miss it so much. I was so lonely, I was a loser and somehow, a few people still genuinely cared for me. Somehow, a few people even talked to me, and became my really great friends.




I miss my friends, so much.
And I hope you all are doing well.



I miss my friends. So much.